Skandashree B S

The Thailand diaries

Hello there, welcome back folks. I know I need to be writing more and expressing all that i wish to , but somewhere this catharsis of an experience takes a backseat due to mainstream routine life. Today is a Friday , another weekend and i am back afresh from a trip to the country Thailand. What a trip it was! , as the journey began on quite an unpredictable note , i am taking a deep breath, as i reminisce on how it all began.

I started prepping and planning a month before , scouting for cheap deals on airfare and doing a simple research into stays as well as planning my itinerary. I used ChatGPT ,watched a few travel guides on YouTube and finally managed to sort arrangements for the trip. I need to admit, I get too excited while planning a trip and often tend to act on an impulse , turns out it works both good as well as has its share of lessons. I still feel i need to study a lot , around basic things like weather before deciding the place of vacation, yes season my folks is the kingmaker and it would decide how favourable it turns out to be. Weather turned out to be a perfectly learnt lesson this time around , hope I check on weather before i plan my next trip. Thailand, is such a fun destination, yet the time i planned , was a season of monsoons and unfortunately, Bangkok was hit by heavy floods nearing to the time of my onward journey. This felt very sad and moments of uncertainty was adding to my doubts about making it to the place. I was unsure about going to Bangkok, till about 2 days before my onward flight. Thankfully, I had kept in constant touch with the hotel staff , where I had booked , in order to get info on the latest weather updates and the staff was receptive enough to update on day to day weather conditions.

I am writing my experience, on a friday evening, a week after i have lived in another city. I was just so flustered and a bit sad to have began the journey on an unpredictable note , but yes I am so happy that everything turned out so so wonderfully, just as how a journey should be. Travelling has taught me this, it is all about the journey, carrying a spectrum of experiences to arrive as an enriched soul and it is all on a purpose to evolve. I am a hyper independent person , thanks to my conditioning , it has been one of the reasons for me taking up everything as diy . Travel has taught me this, to learn to, embrace uncertainty with a more flexible attitude and thus become open to experiences, whatever life throws at one, the pleasant , the challenging and everything in between. When you repeatedly confront a challenge, one no longer is hyper focused on the magnitude of it , rather one would learn how to face it and decode it as more than an obstacle and in the process try to solve the challenge.

Travel for me are philosphy classes taken in person and survival lessons learnt practically, and that is why I have been quite repetitive about this theme of learning. Cutting across to,further parts of the journey, on one hand while weather was concerning on the other hand , i was topped with a load to face another shocker , when i landed in the airport.The airline ticket that i had booked with was non-operational!, this literally caused my heart to pounce. I was not prepared to face this atrocious shock by the negligent airline company and a pathetic travel agency by the name Goibibo.I was faced with so much of stress, as i came to terms with a non operational flight. My whole world paused for a bit, i felt directionless and confused. Questions popped in my head, whether all of this was worth it? Should I be just booking another current flight, despite the exorbitant price . Should i wait or should I just make a move? . To get more clarity, I dedcided to reach out to my sister. I just wanted some reassurance and to affirm to my decision of taking the next available flight. Thankfully my sister consoled me , on the drama that unfolded in the past few minutes and suggested me to take the next immediate flight available. One thing that she said , strikingly made sense, since you like traveling go for it and forget about the price. I did just exactly that, kept aside the overthinking and booked a flight immediately. I took an instant action, booked my ticket on indigo and waited for the ticket confirmation. With my string of challenges continuing, the indigo ticket took a ton of time to reflect, hence had to call an inflight staff to assist me on securing the ticket. After all the verification and sorting out, I finally did get my confirmed ticket.

This is how my journey to Bangkok began, with a first micro lesson of holding your world during uncertainty and powering through it, not that this isn’t a familiar one , in fact it is , as i have been carrying challenges far too long . Anyways, i carried the lesson in my stride, partially disheartened, still reeling , under the incident and trying to process what had just happened.

It was a raining , at the time i got into the flight and was ready for a departure. Rains in Bengaluru, just made me think of weather in Bangkok. I was still half hopeful and half alive, sad but excited. I sat in my seat , made myself comfortable and began speaking to a co-passenger.I just happened to speak to this person to divert myself from what had happened. He seemed a calm guy , who was good and most importantly safe to interact with. I wasn’t able to sleep or feel rested and hence went on conversing with my co passenger. I probably should have restrained in conversing , but i just dint stop. That gentleman was married and I dint want to give an impression that I am hitting on him, but it turns out he felt that I was showing interest. This is what happens, when you are platonic and trying to interact in a healthy way with the opposite gender and it gets misinterpreted if the opposite gender isn’t self aware . So , yes this was another lesson , to just be on my own and be my own source of comfort in all times and especially the odd times. I never regret having a friendly conversation but i feel disturbed that it wasn’t being responded to in a healthy way , not that the passenger was unpleasant. The person was a nice guy, but the fact is when you simply have a conversation , it doesn’t mean you intend to have romantic intentions and the person was married too. After a good 3.5 hr flight, I happened to land in Bangkok all tired but looking forward to a fun experience

LANDING IN BANGKOK

I landed in Bangkok, at 7:00 am in the morning. Enroute to landing, i was welcomed by a blushing sky view ,decorated with a tint of orange and the sunrise just felt like a warm welcome, after all the hurdles I had to go through. Next up was the immigration check , as soon as I landed. Thankfully, at the Suvarnabhumi airport, (quite an Indianised name , right! )the fleet of travellers at the que to clear immigration dint seem huge and the process was , moving fairly at a decent speed . I made myself a space and quickly joined the queue, as i approached my turn and as the officer happened to check my passport, immigration formalities and accommodation list , they pointed out that I hadn’t booked my stay at Phuket. This sounded a little alarming, the stay had got cancelled as the payment dint go through, so yes this shit just happened,. Thankfully the immigration officer, took me to a side and gave me 10 mins to make a new booking. The deadline seemed fair also tricky , but i did book a hotel then and there without giving much thought, but it did turn out right in the end.

Post completion of immigration formalities, I was finally let free to go. I walked with my luggage and immediately booked a grab taxi on the app. I again happened to make a mistake, while I did add the right name of the hotel chillin in Bangkok , there were several places by the same name , I chose the wrong one , hmmm which was realised later , as i was in the middle of a car journey.As I sat in the car, I looked at the streets with a sense of awe, half sleepy and then dozed off in between as well, only to wake up to a destination that had been wrongly selected. Anyways I dint regret for having booked the wrong location, although I did cost an additional fare on my pocket , I just took it as a sign to be enjoying a ride through the city. After additional 20 mins and a fare of around 700 THB , which is around 2k in Indian currency, i reached my first stay in Bangkok , feeling happy.

I knew this stay was a welcoming one, largely tourist destinations are very hospitable and my stay here was one such too. In fact , I was in constant touch with the hotel staff on the weather updates and found them to be very responsive . I am sitting in an auto , as I type these words and wearing a shirt that i got from bangkok, to serve me as a reminder of the memories i made in the place. I just feel a sense of pure joy as i reminisce my time there .

Day 1: Straight to shopping

Half awake, tired and sleepy , I ordered a Thai milk tea with an eager heart, with enormous greed to just taste it. I was given keys to my room , located on the second floor . I took the keys and headed to the room in a jiffy. I entered the room and wasn’t surprised, by a clean and good ambience , most stays in Bangkok have an image to offer good accommodation. My stay was a hostel with a cute cafe on ground floor. My room was on the second floor and it was cute studio room , having all amenities including a tiny fridge to store food. Tra la la and my heart danced feeling the vibe of the room.

I am resting on a couch and as i continue to write , giving a description of my trip , i somehow have a longing to have or lead a very different life , not that stability is bad , but doing things differently, can make one feel alive. Ok , let me continue with the heart of this topic , discarding all the post trip hangover!.

I rested for a while and got all geared up to visit the platinum mall. I made this decision, as platinum mall was close by to where I stayed , that is Ekammai area and thus decided to immerse in the experience of shopping. My dopamine levels were charged , with the thought of taking a metro and getting to explore the city through a new lens. Everything right from buying the ticket to people watching in metro felt so good . I literally felt like an alice in wonderland.

Everything felt more alive. The bts metro ride was enough of an experience, before I got my stop at Chitlom to shop at the platinum mall.

The roads were a refreshing scene , clean and picturesque. To be honest , coming from country like India , witnessing a basic infrastructure be so good , felt like a warm hug. The air was clean and people unbothered, minding their own business. There was nothing in particular, where i had to stay on high alert, my nervous system totally relaxed and the feeling of home never felt better

I wish , i could take up travel storytelling as an aspirational profession, a stream where just the heart speaks. I have always felt , that life shouldn’t be lived like a drill and felt like a prison. While stability is comforting, it doesn’t necessarily fulfill the soul. Even now, as i type these words , a part of me wants to break monotony , wish to have wings just to be able to see what living life feels like in 10 different places. Mind you, experiencing a different life doesn’t mean , you take a liking to it, but yes it would certainly be a learning adventure and i treat travel the same.

As i , speak on not taking an instant liking to something, I illustrate that with the shopping scenes in Bangkok. While everyone has appreciation for the shopping scenario , especially the price, quality and being able to shop affordably in Bangkok, I would differ , based on my experience. I found the shopping spectrum to be diverse, there were a lot of fancy things, including clothes, accessories health ,skin care and so on. While I dint shop much and couldn’t get into the depth of it, i found most things to be quite pricy compared to India. The price as well wasn’t , standing up to quality.I did however, buy souvenirs, few T-shirts and some accessory stuff here and there . Overall i had a great time just being in the mall and strolling through them. One of the highlights , was trying the mango sticky rice , that turned out to be good with the sweet mangoes , doing the justice in terms of the taste

I have been feeling, this write up is turning out to be quite lengthy already,but i am weaving my heart here and 6 days is quite a long time with a multitude of experiences. Time will never stand still and old experiences get replaced by newer ones. Ok , let me continue my story ,while day 1 already felt exciting and brought a surge of joy ,it was also important I slept well , so I bought myself some Indian food , had a hearty meal and then dozed off to a deep slumber.

Day 2: Grand palace and meeting with indigenous locals

**Exquisite architecture at grand palace**

Day 2 began on a well rested noted, no duties, no tasks to attend to and i was waiting to hit the streets again. I had my morning green tea, took a tour of the cafe area of the hostel that I stayed and felt so at peace. My first stop for the day was grand palace of emerald , housing the golden Buddha along with Wat pho and Wat Arun all of which had beautiful Buddha statues.I took the bts as usual which is supposed to be the upper metro to sukhumvit followed by mrt to grand palace at Sanam chai stop.

Grand palace was one exquisite visual treat. The entire area was quite expansive and was an architectural marvel with every corner holding artistic paintings, statues and thus numerous tales.There was so much to see and i covered as much as i could and admired the main statue situated inside a huge hall.

After the grand palace, i then went to visit the wat pho, another architectural marvel, housing the reclining Buddha, The statue of the Buddha , is a mammoth, and the entire idol is a posture of Buddha sleeping to one side. The idol runs across a distance and the enormity of it stimulates awe.

The first 2 days of Bangkok was an exposure to a new world of sights , sounds , people and culture. Witnessing the high end infrastructure and most essentially the quality of air , felt like a vacation in heaven. The unbothered attitude of people and just to be existing and observing as an enchanted traveller felt liberating. This is just the part 1 , I will continue narrating other wonderful parts of my visit to this beautiful country 🌻.

Unmasking…….

Hi,i don’t know, how to began,the following words,pieces from my experiences ,is about a topic that has been a prominent aspect ,through my journey.I am sure,there are many,holding a lot within ,very similar or different to what i would share.As I am typing these thoughts,I enter it with considerable hesitation and self doubt,if you have tried to get a hint of it,it is the very subject of mental health.

Mental health,a lot has been already spoken,huge awareness movements have been going on around the globe to educate about de-stigmatising mental health and most importantly recognising that it can be a chronic condition that can be a part of a functional human.Despite a loud shoutout by medical community, volunteers who have faced mental health challenges and various support organisations, unfortunately it still isn’t openly recieved and its existence is underestimated.

It is very understandable and obvious that,mind is an invisible functional part of a human.The psyche can be really hard or cannot be deciphered at all by commoners,unless one is trained to understand the signs and symptoms of a perturbed working of the mind.What does this mean to the one who is navigating through mental health difficulties??? not being seen,not being heard ,not having a space to vent ,which sums up to fighting a deep dark lonely battle.I understand that any form of challenge faced by a person can only be overcome by their own will and effort,but through this lonely journey,it greatly matters to have a supporting environment,that aids in the healing of a person .Your immediate environment is your family , including parental figures and siblings,of them the involvement of a parental figure is a source of great strength and support.The lack of a parental involvement,can feel like a painful letdown,almost like another crater of a wound that feels unsettling.

The paradox of mental health ,is never understood enough.Someone could appear normal and deep down suffering through numerous symptoms,that are roadblocks,a person needs to navigate on everyday basis ,yet preserve a sense of functionality.The battle is extremely hard to the one going through it,as it remains obscure to world outside and the expression of emotional baggage ,that seems eccentric, with spontaneous bouts of intense emotions ,is deeply misunderstood by not just the society,but the immediate circle of family members.What isn’t understood is the fact,that abnormalcy isn’t a condition arrived at will or a disturbance under control.The entanglement is deep,a wound that doesn’t heal too quickly ,it remains in the backdrop,reminding one of how it feels .

Suffering is inevitable,but what makes it tolerable,is through a sense of comfort,to have people ,letting one be,to be able to have your emotional upheavals sensitised to, especially a parental figure.Often I have used the term parental figure,quite repetitively,as only parents could be truly selfless and are a embodiment of selflessness,forgiveness and love all at the same time.A parent is a pillar ,that strengthens and nurtures a being’s presence and the need to be loved.A parental safe space is so very significant,in shaping a human that you become.The sad part is intentionally or unintentionally,your parents become the cause of your struggle,inflicting traumas and missing to play the role of protectors or nurturers.The pieces of experiences shared may not be the truth in most cases,but it cannot be discarded as a lie either,as according to the norm parents are supposed to be ideal characters.

I do not want to debate ,on the character of a parent,but on the very process of parenting .No doubt that most parents have good will for their children,but the style of parenting or the foundational principles on which a child gets raised ,may or may not go well with a child,as child’s basic needs may not be met.It is so important to be an involved parent,rather than just a mundane provider,most parents think that by being a provider,they favour their child’s well being.While the child does take a liking to the amenities it gets,it isn’t seeking it all the time,what it does seek and rely on is the presence of a parent in terms of the parent’s love and attention to detail.What a child truly wants is a safe space to be uninhibitedly itself ,without the fear of being judged or policed.

When there is a missing safe space in parental figures,a child tends to cover up or hide its authenticity and this in turn could be traumatic,to force oneself to be invisible,and there in begans a journey of carrying traumas that speaks up itself in adult life.

Whether the trauma is due to parenting or otherwise,i truly believe parents are a safe space that can be a catalyst to healing or at least a vent to inner turmoil.I can’t emphasise enough on role of parent and also to consider if one truly wants to commit to the unconditional role of a parent,as the role of a parent isn’t a patchy involvement ,it is an agreement for life to be a child’s safe space.

My reflection on parenting and parental figures,has been a part of my own experience.As someone who has been under emotionally unavailable parents,having no connect to either of them,it feels a loss .You fail as a person in coping with emotional challenges and it can get very hard to endure pain for a very long time.The sad perspective is ,i served you well as parent , providing all that you wanted, i can’t believe,that I am not a good parent .Yes you did the part of providing perfectly,but i missed a safe space and now i am a broken adult trying to fix myself!!

Trying to ……..

I happened to be comfortably ,tucked under a blanket on a cold winter night and as i let my thoughts flow,I have taken a vow to be on a fairly constant journey of writing.As a person,who has always found writing very interesting,it is important that I give life to my interest and express my desire ,as that is what feels comforting to the soul.We all know what we desire the most,how to get them ,yet we remain unfocused,lost amidst the other calls of life to never attend to what feeds our soul.

Yes,it is natural to loose track,leave things in between ,loose interest,get busy,loose heart ,loose mind and whatever may be the reasons,you still can get back and restart the journey.It is ok to pause or take a hiatus,i have reminded and reassured myself with these lines to energise my journey as a writer.

On one of my exploration’s to a beautiful place,with a tribute to lord shiva in Kerala!!

Let me began with the interesting reads that I am in the middle of.I am currently reading a book called Tuesdays with morrie.This book was a recommendation by a travel vlogger, and i decided to go ahead and read it.This book is a profoundly insightful book ,the main protagonist as suggested by the title of this book is professor Morrie.Professor morrie ,a larger than life psychology professor whose classes are a hit amongst the students and is more than just a professor,a freind,philospher and a go to person is what describes Morrie.Years later ,the professor happens to be struck with a terminal debilitating disease called ALS which is amyotropic lateral sclerosis,which is a paralysing disease and how the professor comes to terms with it and decides to intelectualize and discuss death and certain life lessons with his favourite student and the whole world.My choice of books are usually the self help and motivational genre and reading them has helped me to stay inspired and hopeful.We all need that,hope? don’t we? it is like a fuel that perpetually needs a refill ,feed to our waxing and waning spirits and no better than reading inspiring stories of hope .

With the beginning of another year,i hope to feed my heart and soul,as they should be the centre of any life story.When you truly commit and do what makes you happy,you would flow on a dance with your soul.

Not just a break…….

Hey folks,well i just happened to see my blog posts,a few years ago from this day and it struck me that ,why did I not continue to weave my experiences in written words? The stereotypical answer,busy with commitments of work ,giving energy to all frivolities and being on a roller coaster of mental well being ,pretty much sums up why i haven’t showed up on my page,at least for my ownself.A lot has happened over the last few years,in fact many years ,close to three years since i wrote my last post.

Having this intense desire to be a wanderlust nomad,i did manifest this wish of mine in a great measure.I can’t stop feeling elated and grateful as i write this article.I truly and strongly ,have always desired to be a travel hippie ,embarking on adventures around the world and my native land, India itself, is a world on its own.I finally was able to do numerous solo expeditions at leisure ,not that this was my first time,but yes the freedom offered by work lifestyle ,that of a digital nomad is the greatest gift that has been a boon of recent times,that has encouraged me to explore places in umpteen measure.In the year 2024 I had been to mcleodganj,dharamshala,amritsar and basically the beautiful state of hilly himachal pradesh ,that is truly soaked in magic .I can’t find the perfect words to describe my experiences there ,as it was so soulful that no words can do justice.I felt at peace ,with a soothing sense of tranquility wrapping me ,as i connected to nature .The nature in the hilly regions of the himalayas is mesmerising to say the least.Being from southern part of India,having mostly seen beaches and certain hill stations,this was undoubtedly, my intimate exposure to the beauty in the rawness of the himalayas.The wild nature, basking in nature with the humans harmoniously co- existing in its presence,no wonder the natives ,also known as pahadis brim with pride in their identity of culture ,that is so closely associated with nature in some way.I must also remark,that the inhabitants of the hilly regions are such kind,warm and such peace loving people,probably they represent the land and nature in some way,taking birth in places like these ,sure defines a person in some way.The geography does have a bearing on how individuals and community of people live and thrive and it is fascinating to say the least to know how everything is so interconnected.

The view of the mesmerising himalayas

My third time to this place and first as a solo traveller, exploring on my own at an unhurried pace has been the best experience of my life,it lit my soul ,so powerfully.I soaked in the place ,breathing with the sights and sounds of the place.I felt profoundly drawn to everything this place held ,right from the nature ,food ,weather and to the warm locals.If home was a feeling ,if ever ,i had to call a place a home,i would have no second thoughts about belonging to this place.I stayed in the picturesque valley at the top of mcleodganj ,the bhagsu area to be precise.The moment i entered this place,i could sense the calming vibe.The time i entered was a transition phase from winters to summer,but the place was still cold,understandably as it is a hilly area.I initially felt a little uncomfortable adjusting to the weather,but over a period of time got used to the cold climate and in fact sort of enjoyed it too.I rented out a hotel room.for 15 days at an affordable price and was so elated at the make and ambience of the room.It perfectly fitted into the idea of a cottage room ,tiny yet spacious and offered the cozy comfort as it should.Just being in the place,felt meditative.I happened to visit the beautiful local monasteries ,the cute market areas and basically walk on the foot in the hilly area ,to be in the intimate presence of the mountains.The ride on the cable,was another special experience,i experienced a sense of wonder,thrill and ecstacy as i witnessed the scenic Himalayas ,while travelling through the cable,a truly delightful anecdote ,to share.I tried the local cafes,savored on the famous dish of siddu on street and enjoyed shopping the colorful shopping stuff of the place.The woolen caps,handmade winterwear and lots of cool woolen clothing were some of the local shopping stuff on display.I had also been to dharmshala and visited a beautiful tea garden and the highest stadium in the world ,which was a treat to the eyes.

The pictures posted above are few of my special.memories of the place.The namgayal monastery in particular,was a resplendent place ,filled with a mesmerizing divine cosmic energy.

Another picture that has ,me holding a piece of bread and butter,is the handmade organic bread and butter made at a local homestay in the place.The homestay was a charming and a tranquil place ,with the hosts focused on health and mindful eating,thus offering homemade organically grown food.I have numerous instances and accounts of how life in the mountains,in the state of himachal and especially the Buddhist place of mcleodganj is nothing short of an abode of tranquility ,how you feel a deeper presence in the serenity beyond words!!

My short little travel tales….

Hi there, hope you had a great week.I know that it gets monotonous, with the days going in a repetitive mode.But however, one always has the choice to make everyday count, with a dash of excitement , optimism and the feeling of gratitude to be living comfortably in this very moment.There are some passions, which i am sure everybody does have and they kindle your soul like no other.These interests make life worth living and are a source of spontaneous happiness.I am sure most of you agree travel is one such interest that gratifies the soul.To experience new places , cultures and just soak in sheer beauty of this vast world truly fills the heart.Since the very beginning, as a child , I have been inspired by few travel shows that brought out the wanderlust in me.Lonely planet by Ian wright, intimate escapes and discovery Channel travel shows were few of my favorites that i was hooked to.

As a youngster , i dint really know what i aspired to become when i would transition into an adult .What i would take up as a vocation or how I would go about making my career, but however all i knew with all my heart was my zest to travel passionately and eternally.Though I have explored a negligible fraction of this world and universe, basically just having explored places in my country, i have made a promise to myself to cover as many places as possible till this lifetime.My recent travel expeditions have been to different places where i have lived to complete my higher education.Mysore and hassan are the two places in the state of karnataka where i have lived that have been my travel spots in the past 5 years.It all began in the year 2017, when i shifted to pursue my higher education in a laid back place called Mysore very nearby to my native city Bangalore.

My reasons for shifting to another place apart from home has always been my excitement to travel and explore the unseen .Though i dint have a completely easy time as an outsider, i still am grateful for all the experiences that i lived here and especially my littlel travel ventures.Mysore also known as the place of preserved royalty and heritage with its royalty dating back to hundreds of years had some of the best landmark places that captivate travellers from all around the world.I had been to ranganathitu or sriramgapatna which is a bird sanctuary and had the most amazing experience. The nature here is splendid beyond words and i managed to grasp this place on a whole view including bird watching with a enjoyable and calming ferry ride on the waters.When i have a look at the stills, i can still recollect the vivid surge of excitement yet serenity on that day.Apart from this , an extremely gentle ride on a specialised vessel like boat called “theppa”in native language was a blissful experience on its own.There are few more places that i have covered here as a temporary visitor including chamundi hills and nanjungud temple to name a few.

Bird spoting of painted storks on the ferry ride

“Theppa”, boat vessel ride on the backwaters

Hassan was another wonderful place that hosted me for a year.This little city has a charm of its own, as much as it is urbanized , it truly is a home of nature and i say that literally.There are numerous hilltops that surround this place.To describe them ,they are truly exhilarating pathways in the midst of lush greenery.Nature is so prosperous here, with the abundance of all varieties of plants grown here.Coffee among them tops the list and is a flourishing crop that has yielded good economic returns to this place .In fact,amidst the rich growth of coffee plantations , are cute little tiny homestays which are popular lodging options available in this place that host the visitors that serve as leisure getaways .

One of my truly memorable treks in hassan has been that of the peak “agni betta”.The place felt like nature’s fantasy land.The entire stretch is a valley greeted in between by dazzling spring water and tiny little water cascades .The time i trekked, was the monsoon season , pouring with gentle rains.To trek under the trickling showers in the treasure of greenery truly felt soulful beyond words.Besides these hilltops i also was blessed to chance upon visiting the magnificent windmills , which is a system of windmill devices situated on hilltops to harness the wind energy.This place felt ecstatic , as the winds here blew with exuberance and playfully in the backdrop of nature.I felt a deep sense of connect as i felt the enormity and the vibration of this place.I truly feel blessed to have got an opportunity to have made these tiny expeditions , that would serve as treasure of memories to cherish for life.

To travel and immerse in the expanse of nature, feels therapeutic and calming.If you are a keen observer and traveller you wouldn’t agree more, in case if you aren’t the one who notices the nature around you, i would urge you to do it and open the windows of your soul to feel it’s magical and enchanting presence!!

Finding joy in big little things……

Hi, hope your days have been going fine.Well, an article that has the writer’s thoughts should not just be able to connect with the reader in someway, but also i believe in informally bond with the invisible readers , somewhere trying to understand my thoughts , finding a meaning and in that process carrying some essence out of the read.Writing is a way to communicate our thoughts, as much as we do the talking , i feel writing is a deeper way to unleash the thoughts in a profoundly thoughtful way.Reading the written words is a communication in itself.As and when one reads, there are several impressions developed not just of the story , but you are invisibly engaging with the author too.You don’t just understand the story, you also decipher the person behind the written words.It may be a passive communication, but somewhere the written words impact you either subtly or powerfully.

I often don’t believe in a structured writing, yes i do choose my thoughts, process them,before they flow as written words. But however, being a little random, beginning my topic proper at ease , gives me the freedom to think on creative terms and makes my read less robotic. In a way i meant , i am actually having a conversation with my readers while they read this up.Let me now shift, because i am going to began my topic.Take a deep breath and relax wherever you are.Your days may be going good or bad, it doesn’t matter if it is not all that great, keep hustling and finding ways to recreate yourself.Why am i telling this? Just like all of you i periodically question the progress of my life.This is the way our minds have been trained, all credits to cultural conditioning of the society and the limited human life span!.

Why don’t we feel the joy in the ordinary.It could be the simplest of the things,including sipping on a aromatic freshly brewed coffee, listening to your favorite music or just randomly looking at your pictures in the past to treating yourself to a hearty meal.We are all aware of this , but time again we need reminders as we get lost in this circus of mechanical life.Paradoxical ain’t it , mechanical circus.While mechanical is supposed to be routine or orderly, why do we find it to be chaotic as a circus?.Our lives are an organized chaos, while we do need some order, our minds are trained to be messy in the ways of our thinking .We dishearten ourselves by drawing comparisons to other people’s lives or standards of the society.We dwell too much on the past or run on the fear of unpredictability of future!.

This cliche of a phrase , i am sure is quite familiar with most of my readers, you needn’t have it all figured out?.Yes , as much i emphasize on this fact, I myself need reminders to remain this way.I am fighting my way out to adapt this attitude, yes literally a battle of sorts in mind to grasp the present.As a mental health warrior, believe me , my mental health going down the drain was an eye opener.It may me realise and see the alternative perspectives to life.You need to be in tune with the present, even if one’s circumstance are unfavorable, know to count your blessings even in a crisis .Every bitter situation challenges us in spirit, to evolve exponentially. We can either be comfortably numb and grow with it or allow the demons to take the reigns of our minds.I know changing our attitudes and belief systems can happen only with strong triggers that let us to transform, even otherwise in normal easy times , we need to strive hard and work on consistently adapting this attitude of finding joys in the mundane or the little big things.While we all get to a point in life of owning a list of possessions including a house, a car and ticking off the bucketlist of several travel destinations, it is all the more important to soak in the sun and enjoy your morning cup of coffee or simply watch the rains descend.Wherever you are, whatever you may be going through , make sure to hold the little moments with a magnified presence in your heart!, those truly are the treasure for life!!…….

Go all the way…….

Life’s greatest lessons come from falling hard.Through the journey on the rock bottom is built an unabashed self , glistening with the will power to live this life.Yes, i have always been inspired by the failure stories behind successful beings of this planet and this fact is uniaminous too.The stories of the testing times, challenges , obstacles or odds and the sheer courage to face and overcome them is truly inspiring.In these stories of hopelessness, is a sense of hope that no matter what one has to endure, the human spirit is valiant and powerful enough to survive.There is a deeper understanding and a wisdom that comes with failure.You no longer live simply to succeed, as you transcend to realise your will to succeed is even bigger than the success.Success in this case isn’t the objective, but persistence and the attitude to never give up becomes the impetus.

At my lowest and difficult times, i have sheltered myself in the hope infusing words of writers and motivational speakers alike. There is a sense of a rejuvenation, when you are reminded to keep that spark alive.It has been taught and is a generational narrative to look at failure with bitter negativity.As if failing was a catastrophe and should never have happened.What if we are taught otherwise and simply make failure look like less of an enemy.Normalising the fact that failures can be encountered at any point and any sphere of life, makes one to practically recieve failures in an emotionally neutral way, rather than beating ourselves down.If failures can be emphasized as a process of growth and seen in a light of respect , it may serve us a higher purpose.With failures, one is not lost but evolves to be a person with a higher emotional resistance and empathy.

Whether you have failed once or on numerous occasions, it doesn’t matter.What matters is the cynical approach, and what should be learnt is to redirect oneself to a better meaning of life.I quote bukowski’s lines from the poem ” If you are going to try go all the way otherwise don’t even start”.Such simple lines carrying profound meaning.It implies, one should follow the path,devote and committ to a calling one feels is the purpose of life, no matter the impediments faced on the way.The complete poem stimulates bravery to discover the profound strength within.” This could mean losing girlfriends, wives and may be even your mind”.” It could mean not eating for three to four days,it could mean freezing on a parched bench”.It could mean jail” .”It could mean derision, mockery or isolation and isolation is the gift”.

These lines are an ode to the indomitable human spirit.Under extreme conditions, whatever may be the magnitude of crisis, holding on to life and going at any length to overcome it is the purpose of life.The purpose to survive may be at the expense of giving up the comfort and seeming non existent.Sometimes feeling hopeless and going insane all the same time.Facing mockery and humiliation from a society that is so judgemental.In all this , one is all alone in this battle, but this isolation is a gift, a gift to unleash the truest potential.”you will be alone with the gods and the night will flame with fire”.Despite the worst rejections and odds “.You will ride straight into perfect laughter, it’s only a good fight there is”.It is your life, only you have to choose to rise above the rumbles, the chaos with a will of steel and it will all be worth it in the end!.

Beyond the number

I am resting on a couch, with my head supported trying to think of the next few sentences to progress on the topic i chose. The title i have given is quite simple however carrying a multitude of experiences behind .It is late in the evening currently and this is the time, i think at leisure to churn up stories rather weave ideas into a compact read.What do you infer from this title? Well,we have all been governed by numbers and how?.As the adage goes life is a number game and not to count is imprecision.Our life has been quantified right from the time we take birth as our birth time to the estimation of objects and people no matter how big or small.It is no wonder, that we are all trained to think like a horse and measure life in terms of the predefined accomplishments. Be it the marks on the scorecard or the remuneration one earns , a number is sure to stare one in the eyes like a stringent taskmaster.A tough taskmaster for sure motivating one and probably subtracting some satisfaction in life.Why do I say this? In a world filled with differences, comparisons are bound to happen and thus estimating one’s life with other is the norm contributing to the feeling of lack.Our generation of millennials have thankfully realised this to an extent and are trying to erase old herd belief systems that does not serve good.With changing times, a number of concepts have evolved and so does our understanding as one grows with age.

Cutting across to the heart of my title , i just felt a spontaneous need to express a single women’s life beyond the age of 30s.Thirty is a landmark number for our human species applicable to both the genders. Like all things said before, our lives are predetermined set of goals with a timetable to achieve them in a certain quantum of time.Marraige or companionship is one such significant goal that needs to be formalized at a certain age and 30 is the bull’s eye target for the same.Being single in my 30s wasn’t a conscious decision and never deliberate.As much as companionship would have thought me i assume, so has my outstretched independence. Yes it is human to feel lonely and unreasonable to stay happy at all times, but as you grasp the philosophy of impermanence of life, a certain sense of peace dawns with it.Whether one failed to love or be loved , you did understand that your growth as a person or an individual is a stupendous feat on its own.Carrying oneself through unfamiliar times that feel like jolt to little struggles , every incident has collectively shaped the strength that the obvious cannot meet one’s expectations and that it is a non linear life that has the greatest lessons.As a youngster i had a a stack of defined goals and even put in some effort half heartedly or sometimes with aggression to make it work.It never once crossed my mind that i had taken up finding a partner too as a goal and goals aren’t always meant to lend a purpose.If I think that being with a person is a part of a bucketlist , then probably i am objectifying a relationship associated with a sense of fulfillment that comes with it.There is no certainity , as you may or may not be fulfilled.

Remaining single in my 30s has opened a whole new meaning of life.With failures come a sense of acceptance to just observe and let go.Your evolving internal self comes to an understanding that every aspect is dynamic and so are the human relationships. Don’t try too hard to fit into the numbers is what i would want to conclude!!