Beyond the number

I am resting on a couch, with my head supported trying to think of the next few sentences to progress on the topic i chose. The title i have given is quite simple however carrying a multitude of experiences behind .It is late in the evening currently and this is the time, i think at leisure to churn up stories rather weave ideas into a compact read.What do you infer from this title? Well,we have all been governed by numbers and how?.As the adage goes life is a number game and not to count is imprecision.Our life has been quantified right from the time we take birth as our birth time to the estimation of objects and people no matter how big or small.It is no wonder, that we are all trained to think like a horse and measure life in terms of the predefined accomplishments. Be it the marks on the scorecard or the remuneration one earns , a number is sure to stare one in the eyes like a stringent taskmaster.A tough taskmaster for sure motivating one and probably subtracting some satisfaction in life.Why do I say this? In a world filled with differences, comparisons are bound to happen and thus estimating one’s life with other is the norm contributing to the feeling of lack.Our generation of millennials have thankfully realised this to an extent and are trying to erase old herd belief systems that does not serve good.With changing times, a number of concepts have evolved and so does our understanding as one grows with age.

Cutting across to the heart of my title , i just felt a spontaneous need to express a single women’s life beyond the age of 30s.Thirty is a landmark number for our human species applicable to both the genders. Like all things said before, our lives are predetermined set of goals with a timetable to achieve them in a certain quantum of time.Marraige or companionship is one such significant goal that needs to be formalized at a certain age and 30 is the bull’s eye target for the same.Being single in my 30s wasn’t a conscious decision and never deliberate.As much as companionship would have thought me i assume, so has my outstretched independence. Yes it is human to feel lonely and unreasonable to stay happy at all times, but as you grasp the philosophy of impermanence of life, a certain sense of peace dawns with it.Whether one failed to love or be loved , you did understand that your growth as a person or an individual is a stupendous feat on its own.Carrying oneself through unfamiliar times that feel like jolt to little struggles , every incident has collectively shaped the strength that the obvious cannot meet one’s expectations and that it is a non linear life that has the greatest lessons.As a youngster i had a a stack of defined goals and even put in some effort half heartedly or sometimes with aggression to make it work.It never once crossed my mind that i had taken up finding a partner too as a goal and goals aren’t always meant to lend a purpose.If I think that being with a person is a part of a bucketlist , then probably i am objectifying a relationship associated with a sense of fulfillment that comes with it.There is no certainity , as you may or may not be fulfilled.

Remaining single in my 30s has opened a whole new meaning of life.With failures come a sense of acceptance to just observe and let go.Your evolving internal self comes to an understanding that every aspect is dynamic and so are the human relationships. Don’t try too hard to fit into the numbers is what i would want to conclude!!